Salamun 'alaikum.
Today's the Eid. Supposedly the most grand day ever at home..but I didn't feel any excitement, happiness, contentment, nothing...I don't think the reason why I feel this way is due to me being far away from home, prolly it's because I felt something that's been lost: Ramadhan. No more will your deeds be intensily multiplied until the next Ramadhan comes. And now Shaitaan is close to me, whispering and attending me at all times, just in case there is a potential for me to something bad. Well, I already have done something bad. I criticized my junior on her big appetite when we had some pide after praying...when I know I eat a lot than her; hence my bigger size than the rest of the people who were there eating with me. Seriously. I can't be good during the Ramadhan only.. I need to be good all the time 24/7 Ramadhan or not Ramadhan!!
Sigh. I know He's watching me right now, dissapointed. Because I thought I could change my behavior, no more Jahiliyyah whatsoever..but I've proved myself wrong, again. Can you please help me, God?
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