Emak, saya mahu kahwin.

ﺒﺴﻤ ﺍﻠﻠﻪ ﺍﻠﺮ ﺤﻤﻦ ﺍﻠﺮ ﺤﻴﻢ

Let's face it. Most women of my age, if not all, would want to get married. At least they have thought about it...perhaps not at this mo', maybe some time in the future. And as for me I want to get married now! It sounds silly but.. when you think of it again, it's actually not.

I've read somewhere that there's this hadith whereby Nabi SAW discourages sikap terburu-buru except for 5 things which are: 1) memberi makanan kepada tetamu, 2) membayar hutang bila tiba masanya, 3) and 4) terlupa and 5) is menikahkan anak perempuan bila cukup umur.

And I've also read somewhere that we are actually urged to get married as soon as possible, and stuff that keeps holding us from doing so such as excuses like 'tak cukup duit' or 'takut beban tak dapat ditanggung' and whatnot are just whispers from the satan yang hina. Subhanallah.

Because Islam is against this boyfriend-girlfriend thing, although it's such a normality in Malaysia that if you don't have one you'd be considered weird, I am more inclined to get married even at this 'tender' age (heh, right..you don't call this tender when you're in saudi arabia, do you). You're asking why is it against Islamic principle to have a boyfriend or girlfriend? I'll tell you why.

Perhaps you are not aware of, or forgot that, in Surah al-Isra, 17:32, it says:

'And do not approach (i.e. avoiding all situations that might possibly lead to it) unlawful sexual intercourse. Indeed, it is ever an immorality and is evil as a way.'

Hmm.. I wonder what could 'all situations that might possibly lead to it' be? Well my friend, wonder no more. Let me ask you something 1st: How did someone manage to get himself/herself a girlfriend/boyfriend? By going out 1st right? Logically, they were friends prior to being a pair, right? And how did they become friends? By talking about DNA replication or the Day of Resurrection? Oh noo noo.. they would talk about themselves, to get to know each other better. 'You suka makan apa?' 'You suka color apa? 'Eh, I suka la dengar lagu Pussycat Dolls tu, dorang nak datang sini, jom pegi consert dia nak tak?' Ahaa.. and that's how they became close (This is just one lame example, I'm pressed for time to think of a better one.)

Do you see where this leads to? Let me clarify my explanation using a clearer method (hey, i'm a scientist-to-be (insyaAllah), so be thankful). In an increasingly destructive order:

talking unnecessarily ---->> going out on dates ----->> officially a boyfriend-girlfriend pair ----->> more intense: going out ----->> getting closer physically ------>> holding hands ----->> hugging ----->> kissing ----->> benda-benda seriously tak senonoh that I myself am segan to list them out ----->> (cycles can be repeated until one point there will be) ZINA

Phew. Penat sikit lukis flow diagram ni.

Anyway, do you see it now? I hope you do. And Allah is the Best Knowing of all..how He says that bukannya avoiding zina semata mata, but avoiding the root of zina itself. This is truly a reminder for you and I that talking to guys (non mahram) should only be about those of professional matters such as education and religion. Talking aimlessly, or in the intention of knowing each other more is just totally wrong.

Having said that, I don't think it's right to totally ignore whoever that still does not understand the Quranic verse above by disowning him/her totally. At least a plain smile or saying hi back if ditegur is ok.. but that's it! We would want to show them respect, and at the same time telling them indirectly that conversations are only meant for important matters, thank you very much. Without assuming that we're arrogant (because we've said hi, haven't we), they would question our behaviour and would soon know the Truth. In a way, that is actually a form of da'wah. Hmm. :)

Ok I think that's it. My God, I didn't expect myself to write this issue when initially all I wanted to do was telling the world that I want to get married. So yeah, because I'm not allowed have a boyfriend, let alone talk to guys about crappy matters, I have the inclination to get married like right now. But this inclination has been getting more and more pathetic these days.

Yes, pathetic. Oh you don't know how pathetic I can be. Seeing Arab men as potential husbands. Not pathetic enough? Being overly and unnecessarily shy in front of Muslim men, so overly and unnecessarily rigidly behaved that you look stupid in front of everybody, when you know yourself that you're bold and confident. But because you want to get married so much, you tend to be shy when you meet the so-called potential husbands, forgetting that there is high possibility that those men have already been married for years. Get a life. Yes, I'm actually telling myself that.

As much as I want to get married, I wouldn't want to marry anybody. Aaaah, yknow how fussy we women can be. I think I have to stop now. It's getting late and I need to do my work.

Kalau tak dapat kahwin kat sini, kahwin kat syurga je la. Isn't that better? I LOVE YOU GOD!! =)) Everytime I think of You I become calmer. You're the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. You are my Everything.

Wassalam.

2: 120

Salam...

I talked to my mom yesterday evening. Called her up on raya (two days ago) but she was too busy cooking. So what's new :P

Anyhow, to cut the story (or our conversation) short---oh by the way have i told you how ANNOYING it is to hear gigantic footsteps going up and down the staircase at my home from my bedroom? (i live like in an ANNOYING 3-storey, very narrow apartment whose walls are not made of pure brick) yes it's phreaking annoying. think twice of staying in an apartment such as mine---

ehemm, yes..back to the highlight of this post. Well I told my mom that sejak kebelakangan ini I've been verbally and nearly physically harrassed by drunken aussie monkeys. And that for the Malaysian hall open house I wore her old black jubah (which i find still beautiful, thanks Mom =).. lol..I nearly thought she was about to faint after hearing that.

Yes, a black jasad, swimming along a stream of colorfully dressed people (I seriously didn't expect to be dreaded in long ques with very limited and restricted movement due to overcrowding; trying to avoid oh-please-i-really-don't-want-to-face-you acquaintances AND on top of that feeling nauseous and dizzy. I'd rather be inside my annoying house..oh well at least I got to meet and sit with people tersayang :)

Anyhow, yes, two somewhat different information: Harrassed by some idiots, and wearing what I was comfortable in. Somehow, my mom managed to combine the information together and said something like this, "Eleanor, I don't think you should wear that thing outside the house. They'll (the idiots) be more inclined to do something bad to you. Those drunken people don't know what they're doing until they become sober."

"But mom, I have my right to wear whatever I want..."

"I know, but look, if you wear something that's attracting, they'd be more aware of you and hence the chance of you getting attacked would be high"

--Wait a minute.

Hmmmmmmmm..... interesting, Mom. Very interesting.

What could be more attractive...a piece of old black cloth or baju yang gilang gemilang berwarna warni di sana sini? *one eyebrow lifted*

Padahal masa saya kena kacau tu I was wearing a very bright baju kurung..so how..are you confused now?

And besides, don't we Muslim women have to wear something that DOES NOT attract? how then, baju kurung gilang gemilang berwarna warni di sana sini fits the purpose of not attracting men, let alone drunken idiots? The fact that it's loose does not justify totally of what 'Muslimah identity' should be like. It seems that most of us have been confused with what 'Islam' is, and what 'culture' is. And no, mixing both things does not fit into 'Islam'. So maybe we can change the name of the event to something else like 'Pesta Menikmati Makanan, Muzik and Pakaian kebangsaan orang2 Malaysia campur fashion terkini di bumi Australia' instead of using 'Hari Raya Aidil fitri celebration'. Can you please correct me if I'm wrong? And no, I'm not blaming any of these people for their doings; I understand that they are still confused. And because I am no longer confused, I do not wish to be one of those who are confused. Do you see where my stand is?

To strengthen my argument, kalaulah pakai baju serba hitam dan yang longgar attracts more drunken men than wearing baju yg gilang gemilang berwarna warni di sana sini (both cases bertudung), it actually shows that I can be more identified easily as a Muslim woman, no? Diorang tak puas hati right, because I am actually wearing something that is very modest, yang betul betul ikut Islamic deen, right?

'Never will the Jews or the Christians be satisfied with you unless you follow their form of religion. Say: "The Guidance of God, -- that is the Guidance." Were you to follow their desires (i.e. dressing yourself be attractive so that men will be pleased and attracted with your enhanced beauty) after the knowledge which have reached you (i.e. women should cover themselves, and cover themselves without showing any perhiasan except to husbands, etc.), then you wouldn't find God as your helper or protector.' (Al-Baqarah: 120)

I'm not saying that all of us women should wear black rags. I'm saying that we all should dress modestly without the intention of attracting men. Perhaps when we dress ourselves, ask ourselves: would this please Allah? or would it cause His Wrath by showing my beauty intentionally to other people other than my husband, my dad, etc? Let's not be like those Western women who mainly dress to be attractive. We're not at all like those women; we're much higher than them, if we Believe.

Wallahu 'Alam...

P/S: Knock knock. Who's there? Esok. Esok who? ESOK ADA GENETICS TEST, MICRO ASSIGNMENT BELUM SIAP LAGI. SILA SIAPKAN. TERIMA KASIH. Okiee ^^
PP/S: Nak minta maaf kepada sesiapa yang membaca dan mungkin terasa pedih di hati. Any of my posts were, are and will not go against you specifically; this is just a general reminder. While I'm improving the way I remind people and myself of things, please take in the message and not the way the message is/was presented. Soon or later we all have to face it: Truth just plainly hurts. Wassalam..

Eid Mubarak....

Salamun 'alaikum.

Today's the Eid. Supposedly the most grand day ever at home..but I didn't feel any excitement, happiness, contentment, nothing...I don't think the reason why I feel this way is due to me being far away from home, prolly it's because I felt something that's been lost: Ramadhan. No more will your deeds be intensily multiplied until the next Ramadhan comes. And now Shaitaan is close to me, whispering and attending me at all times, just in case there is a potential for me to something bad. Well, I already have done something bad. I criticized my junior on her big appetite when we had some pide after praying...when I know I eat a lot than her; hence my bigger size than the rest of the people who were there eating with me. Seriously. I can't be good during the Ramadhan only.. I need to be good all the time 24/7 Ramadhan or not Ramadhan!!

Sigh. I know He's watching me right now, dissapointed. Because I thought I could change my behavior, no more Jahiliyyah whatsoever..but I've proved myself wrong, again. Can you please help me, God?