A note to my friends back home

Went back from yassin... and yes, for 3 hours I did nothing but observing...

My friends back home.

Still elegant, still beautiful, still in luxury, still with 'the other half'. Nothing has changed...

I've really adored you guys. so...intact, yknow? Like there's nothing can change your good life now, like it's a fairy tale that never ends.

Your family's there to support you, a boyfriend to lend a shoulder to lean on, latest fashion designer clothes and gadgets in just a minute will be of your possession.. and you'd be happy to show them to the whole world.

I remember when I started to change back then, when I started to make my way different from yours. Minute by minute I started to become more distant, and as no matter how much I've tried to 'fit in', I just couldn't make myself do it anymore..and as for now, I am officially a stranger to you guys.

Inferiority was the 1st reason I backed up. I thought I was not good enough, OR, more probably because it was just not worth my time keeping up with you people since I was so busy with my studies. Sounds cruel, I know.

But thank God I've felt that way, yknow? Because if not then, I wouldn't become who I am now.

No, it's not inferiority or you're-not-worth-my-time thing I'm having against you lovelies..it's now empathy. But hold on a sec- who is it to be empathized and sympathized here? Me or you?

Me: Lack of family support, no boyfriend, living far away from home, no money, no latest digital camera that's worth thousands, etc etc, umm and overweight. :(

You all: Everything that is opposite of me. You're on top of the world.

Yeah, this world alright.

If you don't know who I've become or what I've gone through, you'd surely think that I'm being jealous of you..But the fact is, I'm not. The fact is, I'm feeling both sad of your situation and burdened...by this responsibility I have towards you. How am I going to make you see that life is not all about the glitters and wonders, that eventually we'll face death and then be questioned by the Almighty on what we did here, atthis moment? Do you understand what I'm trying to get you to understand?

....

It'll be soon that I meet you again (by Allah's Will), yknow. I pray that I won't be overwhelmed with the tasks He will give. Oh of course not.. :)

"Allah tidak membebani seseorang sesuai dengan kesanggupannya..." (al-Baqarah: 286)

May Allah guide us on this sweet journey. Ameen. See you soon, insyaAllah ;)