Keep on smiling and staring at me. Then I'd be stronger, ya think?

Salam...

Do I have to say something important every time I blog? Ideally, yes.

Realisitically, no.

But realizing that I might be wasting my time with talking nonsense here while my housemates are working their brain off at school work, I may as well join them. But then again, I need some time off of work. To chill out, yknow? Reading the qur'an is something nice... or some useful book.. hey, that's not such a bad idea :)

But before I go, I would like to reiterate (to myself actually, well to you too if you want to listen) that life is full of challenges. Externally, and internally. I've suffered a lot from yesterday....like, a lot of internal chaos that's happening, within me.

To stand up for myself as a muslim woman among the kaafiruns, more specifically, male kaafiruns, is just hard. 4 hours of enduring the test is really something. Not to smile excessively, not to laugh, etc etc.. man, this is how I am.. and to repress my natural characteristics in front of them for 4 hours is just hooo... (btw, the 4 hours is my lab time, and apparently I'm the only female among those who are in my bench)

The thing is, if those guys (well not all, but a few of them) treat me normally, or more favorably, how other guys treat muslim women (ignoring them is one method..respecting them is another), then I wouldn't be writing and telling you this. But, by Allah's will, they are more challenging than I thought: staring and smiling sweetly..as if there are no girls wearing mini skirts to eye flirt with, talking bout benda2 lagha ("so, what kind of music do you like?" (????!!!!!)), touching (???!!!!!! tp berlapik la, but hello) and berkerumuning around me. There, how contradicting it is to my belief, can you imagine??? 4 hours?????????????? amidst doing laborious lab work??? Sigh.

But all things happen for a reason huh :) Masa itulah Allah nak menguji aku punya tahap perlawanan nafsu, and melawan bisikan syaitan. If I was weaker, I could have joined them, and talked to them some more, and even ask them out. In other words, become cheap. Melayan hawa nafsu.

When I encounter this kind of situation next time...I don't think I have even the time to layan it. I have better things to do. Like saving this world from evil and mental corruption (I am serious).

And I thank God I stayed strong.