HINA DINA

Men (and women) are constantly in battle with the nafs, the shaytan and the dunya and hawa (Hamza Yusuf, 2006..though I am unsure the exact difference between the meaning of 'nafs' and 'hawa', and therefore am aspire to go to Egypt for 10 years to master the Arabic language. Heh. If only). Only the knowledgable know the existence of such things, and the rest who are ignorant of them, or forget, are seriously seriously in a loss.

Because not knowing that you're fighting against the 'unseen' is more dangerous than not knowing you're fighting for a war, or an exam (like I did just now, huhu), because you're left unprepared. Like at least if you know war is coming, you'd obviously prepare yourself, if not then too bad you'll be dead in no time. But not fighting off shaytan or nafs (in which most people are not even aware of their existence!!) will make your heart deteroriate, hati mati. Bila hati mati nak dapat hidayah dari Allah pun susah... but I'm more concerned with Allah's reaction to it. OBVIOUSLY He would be angry with me if I ikut nafsu then Him... because that's just it.. I mean Allah doesn't like people who are weak and not doing anything about it...

You don't understand what I really mean that we're CONSTANTLY on battle do you. Let me give you my story. For these past few days, I had been studying for my exam. Wonder no more, it was the most horrific war..well yes, because why? it wasn't because I shed blood or had my legs and arms bruised... it was worse. Masa tu lah ada:

• Reminiscence of the past. Of my Jahiliyyah. Of the things that I've done wrong and right and how my spiritual journey to Allah began, etc. etc. Arghhh!!! Takde masa lain ke nak fikir benda2 ni? Sure it's cool to think how you changed for the better, but, hello??? What about your exam tomorrow?? I think you need more thinking for that!
• Nak tengok youtube. With the exception for Hamza Yusuf's talks, I am seriously in a battle with my nafs and the devil to watch unnecessary stuff, like oh how corrupt this world has been bla bla bla. Again, fiqh alawiyat. Syaitan hanya nak menipu kita dengan kebaikan dengan melambatkan apa yang kita perlu kerjakan masa tu juga, which is studying for my exam.
• Search engines. Oh yknow what I mean. From DNA replication to Florence Nightingale. WHATT???
  
• Etc etc. I'm a bit hungry so let's cut this.

To be honest (by right I should be), I haven't done much for studying except for fighting off, losing, and repent. fighting, losing, repent. fighting, losing, repent. and on and on and on. Tapi ada la studying bit. But I think the mujahadah was there...and therefore, Allah helped me. I did the exam just now, with His help, I answered them fully, though most of them were regurgitation-- and that was all my fault. If I had been preparing since Week 1 of school, and not waste time, I'd sure be a top Advanced Science student, in line with the former Australian student of the Year, of whom of course his name I would not tell.

Bottom line: Mujahadah, Muhasabah, Bersyukur, and selalu have in mind of how little and HINA you are to Allah Subhanawata'ala. Wallahu'alam.